The Sad Samus

The Sad Samus is one of MCD's most well-rounded and sane individuals. How exactly this middle-eastern powerhouse obtained so much resilience is unknown to all but a select few. "The Masses" hypothesize that a diet of heavily spiced Meat Slime and  Tree Sap are the reason The Sad Samus is able to survive in the harsh eclectic environment of MCD.

The truth behind their problematic origins lies within the Sacred Texts. Once, the great Lunar Deity known only as "Besentethelhem" coveted the domain of sunlight. The Solar Deity "Chezentlesequesten" did not seek to cooperate with the Lunar Deity. Their clash was legendary and resulted in a cosmic shower of twisted umbral slime coating the surface of the planet. From this slime emerged humanity, but more importantly The Sad Samus emerged from the Yawning Maw of the Damned.

Known across MCD for their superior taste in all forms of media.

Trivia

 * Can eat Carolina Reaper Peppers like they're nothing. Fucks like one too.
 * Do not look into their eyes, ever.
 * Bleeds Birch sap.... for some reason,
 * Really Dumb and Really Sexy
 * Once Bench Pressed and Entire Bus
 * Will buy you Fata Morgana just to get hard off of watching your reactions throughout your playthrough